The title story from Craig Cliff 's forthcoming collection of short stories demonstrates the young author's drily surreal humour around a fluid subject
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IT BEGAN with a puddle His right hand had been resting on the mouse while he stared at The Register He had once calculated that this one Excel file was worth $25,000 At least that's how the sums worked out on a cost- accounting basis - hours spent plugging numbers into spreadsheet multiplied by hourly rate He had used other valuation methodologies, too Net Present Value Internal Rate of Return Technology Factor These calculations, outdated now, still lay buried in forgotten worksheets in The Register, like a bag of mixed veg at the back of his freezer
Most Popular ArticlesAznar, Trimble to launch new pro-Israel project What's closed July 5thMost Recent ArticlesPublic meeting on 'legal highs'Exercise wheel of fortunePrimitive breakthrough amid chic ambitionDriest spell for 70 years leads to drought orderCoach Domenech to blame for farcical exit, says GallasThe screen flicked to black and the company logo, a smiling grapefruit, started to move across the screen He waved the mouse to banish the screensaver and noticed the puddle on his plastic mousepad, right where his hand had been resting. Cheap Handbags He checked his surroundings for the source - overfilled pot plants, leaking drink bottles - but there was nothing No stream leading to or from Just a puddle He felt his forehead, but wasn't sweating there The edge of his hand was moist, but that could have come from resting in the puddle He lifted his head to the ceiling It looked watertight
"What's the date today?" Fiona, the team's admin assistant, shouted from across the partition She asked this about ten times a day It was one of the many annoying things about the office he had become comfortable with
"It's the seventh," he said softly, dismissed the puddle and went back to plugging numbers into The Register
When he woke the next morning his sheets were damp He went through the same routine as in the office, looking everywhere for the source, but again found nothing Just damp sheets, which he pulled off the bed The mattress protector was damp also, so he pulled that off too, and threw everything into the washing machine
It took him longer than normal to dry himself after his shower He sniffed his heavy, sagging towel. Abercrombie & Fitch wholesale He had never really smelt his own scent before - the nose having the ability to eliminate the white noise of the familiar - but his towel shot images of his childhood into his head. (Balenciaga).
It's me, he thought
On the bus to work, a small but persistent trickle began to run down his pant leg People stared, thinking he'd peed his pants, as the colourless liquid ran down the aisle and towards the driver
When he arrived at the office, Fiona told him he looked terrible
"I'm melting," he said
"Maybe you should see a doctor" She patted him on the shoulder, which stuck slightly to his shirt, before bustling into the next cubicle to ask what the date was
At the doctor's, he removed his soaking shirt, his damp pants, his soggy socks, and stood there, dripping His doctor - a kindly Hitchcock lookalike with no s
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PUPILS at North Kesteven School, in North Hykeham, have entered a competition to design a charity logo.
The winning design will appear on hessian bags sold to support the Orders of St John Care Trust's Wish Tree fund.
replica hublot watches The not-for-profit charitable trust provides long-term residential, dementia and nursing care, as well as intermediate and day care, in 73 care homes across Britain.
In Lincolnshire there are 16 care homes and the trust has recently set up the Wish Tree fund to help fulfil residents' wishes at these homes.
The closing date for the entries is March 26 and judges will reach their decision over the Easter holidays. Two judges are from the trust, one is from the school and another from the Echo.
Thomas sabo charmsONE of two Christchurch men charged in relation to a P lab found in an Invercargill motel Cheap Nike Air Max 95 on March 2 made a brief appearance in the Invercargill District Court yesterday.
Mark Raymond Drake, 44, appeared before Judge Dominic Flatley charged with possessing utensils capable of being used in the manufacture of methamphetamine, possessing methamphetamine for supply, possessing materials capable of being used in the manufacture of methamphetamine, and Replica Nike Terminator Shoes possessing precursor substances.
It was his third appearance in court since the dramatic police sting in Invercargill.
Cheap Adidas Superstar SneakerThrough his lawyer Bill Dawkins, Drake entered no plea to the charges, before Judge Flatley remanded him in custody appear in the Invercargill District Court on May 3.
His co-accused, Mark Richard Love, 39, was scheduled to appear yesterday but was not called.
JOLIET, Ill. - Former Illinois police officer Drew Peterson's fourth wife had told a minister that the night before her husband's ex-wife was found dead, he had disappeared, then returned dressed in black and carrying a bag of women's clothes, the minister testified Friday.
links of london charmsThe testimony from the Rev. Neil Schori was the most potentially damaging yet during a pretrial hearing to determine what hearsay evidence a judge will allow jurors to hear when Peterson stands trial in the 2004 death of his third wife, Kathleen Savio, whose body was found in a dry bathtub in her home. Schori said Stacy Peterson told him her husband had coached her about what to tell police.
The hearing stems from a state law that allows a judge to admit hearsay evidence in first-degree murder cases if prosecutors can prove a defendant killed a witness to prevent him or her from testifying.
Drew Peterson, a former Bolingbrook police sergeant, has pleaded not guilty to first-degree murder. He has not been charged in Stacy Peterson's disappearance, but he is considered the only suspect.
Stacy Peterson spoke with Schori, a counseling minister at Westbrook Christian Church in Bolingbrook, before she went missing in 2007.
"She was scared of the control Drew had on her life," Schori said. "She was scared to be with him and scared to be away from him."
Schori said that Stacy Peterson told him that the night before Savio's body was found, she had fallen asleep with Drew Peterson, but woke up in the middle of the night to discover her husband was gone. She searched the house and called his cell phone without an answer, but didn't see her husband until later in the laundry room, Schori said.
Schori said Stacy Peterson told him her husband was dressed entirely in black and dumped the clothes was wearing, along with women's clothing from a bag he was carrying, into the washing machine. Schori said Stacy Peterson said the women's clothes weren't hers.
Schori said Stacy replica tag heruer watches Peterson asked him not to contact police. Schori testified that she told him: "You can't get away from the police when your husband is a police officer."
But Schori said he "immediately" tried to contact police after Stacy Peterson's disappearance.
The judge prevented Schori from talking about conversations Stacy Peterson had with her husband, among other things.
Scott Rossetto, a friend of Stacy Peterson, said that days before Stacy Peterson disappeared she told him she had contacted a divorce lawyer and was ready to leave her husband.
Then, he said, she asked if Rossetto could "keep a secret." She then told him that the night Savio died, Drew Peterson came in late at night and said "if anybody ever asks I was home," Rossetto said.
Thomas sabo charmsProsecutors also presented a neurologist to combat defense attorneys' contention that Savio's death was an accident, that she simply fell. Dr. Gene Neri testified that he had diagnosed her with cervical vertigo, but he said "In 30 years of treating (patients) I haven't had a single person fall as a result of cervical vertigo."
In fact, he said that's because people with this particular kind of vertigo are extremely careful.
AHMEDABAD: A cashier of a petrol pump at Khokhra was shot dead by a man who hitched a ride on his scooty when he was going to deposit the pump's earnings in the bank.
Clip on charmsBipin Thakkar, 45, a resident of Mangalam Society, Ghodasar, worked as a cashier-cum-manager at Sheth Mehta and Co near Anupam Cinema in Khokhra and used to regularly deposit the collections in the bank. On Monday, around 10.50 am he was headed for the State Bank of India's Khokhra branch on his scooty with the cash bag containing Rs 3.5 lakh when he gave a lift to a man in his 30s, eyewitnesses told police.
Two men then came on a bike and tried to corner him as the pillion rider tried to snatch the cash bag at gunpoint. When Thakkar resisted, he shot him through the neck from behind with a .12 mm bore gun, as the cashier slumped on his two-wheeler, dead. The three then ganged up and sped towards Hatkeshwar.
replica tag heruer watches"Thakkar was headed towards Hatkeshwar when the incident took place near Gayatri Dairy," said DB Raulji, inspector of Amraiwadi police station.
"According to eyewitness, the incident took place at 500 m from the pump. The three men had wheatish complexion with thin and lanky frames. We have created traffic check posts and alerted check posts on the border to look out for a black Bajaj Pulsar bike," said Ajay Kumar Chaudhary, deputy commissioner of police, zone V, who visited the spot along with area inspector and assistant commissioner of police.
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Gem, 2, Shih Tzu/Bichon cross
I just celebrated my second birthday. l love to play with my stuffed toys, enjoy chewing on ice cubes, jogging with my owner, sitting on the ottoman in front of the picture window, and lounging at the cottage. I even learned how to roll a stuffed squirrel down the stairs, chase after it, bring it back up and do it all over again. I love everyone, especially children.
Clip on charms-- Lana Harrison, Winnipeg
Wylie, 7 months, Springer spaniel
Wylie has an amazing amount of energy. During his very first snowfall he found Thomas sabo charms that he loved to run back and forth and roll in the snow, then bury his face in it. He's very affectionate and charms everybody he meets.
-- Gaylyn Holmstrom, Winnipeg
Marley, a few weeks old
Marley loves to read my birthday cards. My son Aaron, age 16, found this tiny kitten, abandoned in a box by Seddon's Corner in the sandpits just past Beausejour. Marley is our first pet ever -- cuteness will triumph over allergies every time. Aaron has learned responsibility and is a fabulous pet owner.
replica tag heruer watches-- Anne Wolkenstein, Molson